Sometimes I think of myself as a lazy son-of-a-bitch. (Oooh, that’s very critical and judgmental.) Other times, I cut myself some slack: nothing in life is that critical: don’t stress, don’t panic; allow yourself to relax a little. The real problem is that most of the time I’m actually very hard-working, just not very productive. So, the question is, how am I going to improve my productivity?

I’m not ready to switch to the Pomodoro technique. Not sure why, but it boils down to fear, I suspect. It is strange how we motivate ourselves: it seems to me so much easier to commit to starting something new — like Pomodoro — at the start of a new week, or month, or year. I was about to write that I might start Pomodoro at the start of September, but there is no reason why I can’t start tomorrow. If Pomodoro fails, however, I would be very disappointed. It would represent more than just a dead-end, or a technique that doesn’t work for me. It would be an emotional blow. Another failure! I know I’m supposed to try and try again, but perhaps I have already classified Pom as a silver bullet. (One that I’m not ready to load and fire.)

Another issue is that I think that I’m already doing some of what Pomodoro would ask me to do. I work hard for short bursts of time, concentrating on a specific task. OK, sometimes I am distracted, but in many sessions I keep my eyes on the goal. So Pomodoro won’t change that much. My problem is probably that I’m not working fast enough. (Disregarding for now the fact that I sometimes work hard on unimportant problems.) I’m beginning to suspect that I’m a failed perfectionist. Perhaps a better solution is for me to actively lower my standards…?

What the true state of affairs might be, I think I should change something. At the very least I want to introduce some organization with respect to my schedule and to-do list. Just getting a better grip on all those outstanding to-do items would relieve some of the stress. The problem is that I have tried many techniques: loose paper lists, sticky notes, little notebook, web-based lists, PDA, cell phone. I stick to one approach for a while, but then — when something urgent turns up — I forget about my technique and never return to it. Sigh. There is not much left over that I haven’t tried.

But this is a time of change, and I’ll think of something. I need to strike while the iron is tepid.