I remember that when I started programming, one of the examples in the little BASIC textbook produced a graph of biorhythms.  Generally speaking, biorhythms make a lot of sense:  a lot of phenomena in nature is cyclical and synchronized with the moon.  So a period of roughly 29 days is not too far-fetched.  Also, everyone experiences ups and downs, so it is not too preposterous to think that humans might have such cycles, emotional, intellectual, and physical.  Unfortunately, it turns out that life isn’t that simple and the idea just doesn’t stand up to experiments.  On closer inspection it is highly improbable that our bodies/minds can keep up a perfect rhythm year after after, and that our state of mind/body can be partitioned so neatly.  Of course there are still people who believe the theory vigorously.

Today I could almost believe it myself.  The paper I’m working on is due tomorrow, but the experiments are still running and, until very recently, they didn’t look very promising.  In theory, science is about results, negative or positive.  Explaining what does not work is almost as important as explaining what does work.  Nevertheless, it is more pleasant to find that the wild idea does work.  Or more frustratingly, it is a big disappointment if the idea looks like it should work, but doesn’t.  I’ve had a few of those as well.  At least, the results are now turning my way.  And there is still time (but not really space) to write them up.

But earlier I was feeling quite depressed about the state of the work.  My co-authors have been very…sluggish and I cannot really blame them.  I practically dragged them into the research thinking that they would interested once they understood the basic idea.  But it never caught on and I suspect they still don’t have much of an idea of the details and don’t really care much either.  I don’t think I explained and sold it very well and thinking back about it now, there has probably been many signs and signals that I have missed.  I have to work on my collaboration skills.  I need to single-author a few myself in any case.

The other “biorhythm” that dipped today is my emotional cycle.  From time to time, about once a year, I get the urge to find a boyfriend.  I get interested in dating, drop hints with friends and family, look around a little more, feel vaguely depressed and sorry for myself, and imagine all the benefits of having a partner.  In the past this has led to really severe states of depression, but these days I can at least recognize the signs and apply a little cognitive auto-therapy.  Music seems to do the trick and as soon as my works picks up, so does my mood.  But I wonder about the fact that I’m so consistenly single.  Could it be that I wasn’t properly socialized somewhere along the line?  I think I get along with people quite well, although I’m usually quite content to be on my own.  I do have a tendency to joke around a little too much, but I cannot imagine how bleak life will be without humour.  Maybe my jokes aren’t funny?  Oh well, I don’t plan to do anything about it.  I have enough on my plate.  No, I think my little “dip” is just a small natural depression.  One can’t be happy all the time, and it is a small price to pay for my general happiness.  And however dorky and xxx-y [and now I'm looking for that word that means "sweetly syrapy sentimental" but it just doesn't want to come] it may sound, I lead a privileged and comfortable life compared to most of my fellow voters.

God, I hope this is isn’t too bleak.  I’ll have something more intellectual to say tomorrow.